I am realizing that, though I have had an itch to write for the past several months, I have had nothing to say. Thoughts have spun around my head, but nothing tangible has ever lasted long enough to type, or write down. I now understand what it means to experience "writer's block." And, as someone who expresses myself best in text, it is a hard process to accept and go through.
I think I've recognized that when I am able to write, it is because I am either overjoyed at what is going on in my life, or I am at a crossroads where I have completely lost all control, and have to surrender everything over to God. And that is where I am at right now.
Tomorrow marks 8 full years of teaching: 3 years in elementary school, and 5 years in high school. And I have made a decision that many may call foolish, or reckless. But I am calling it faith:
I resigned from my position as a high school teacher,
and I have no job lined up for next year.
And it is terrifying.
But,
though I have successfully calmed down a few near-panic attacks,
though I have interviewed and applied at several places without a job offer yet,
though I have packed up my classroom,
though I have no idea what my future holds,
I do know who holds it.
Right now, I am living out what it means to take one day at a time. Luke 12:25 means a lot more to me right now than it has, maybe ever:
"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"
Though I don't know much, I do know this for my future:
*I still have a job at J. Alexander's, so my bills will be paid
*I will have health insurance through the end of August
*I have made friends for a season, a reason, and a lifetime at Summit
*I know that God is in control, and no matter how much I try to take the reigns, He will always get His way
*I know that He will provide all that I need
*I will be looking for a new place to live with Cam in a few months
*I will be living in Tennessee for at least one more year (but most likely many, many more!)
*I get to see my parents in TWO DAYS!
At the end of the day, despite my unnecessary worrying, I can rest knowing that all things will work out exactly as they should.
And because of that, I can continue on this adventure that I have been called on with excitement and expectation.
Until next time, y'all!
What a year this has been for you! As hard as it has been to have you so far away, I know that I wouldn't want you to have missed a single experience. The good and bad ones. They all come together to make your life interesting and full. Of course I could do with a little less of the scary weather parts but I am thankful for technology to be able to know that you are ok and out of harms way. This next year will bring even more exciting things for you I am sure. You have made some really great friends in your new home and that makes my heart warm. God does have wonderful plans for you I am sure, and I know that I can't wait to see you too in two days!!!! Love you much and can't wait to give you a big, long squeeze!!!! Your Moqqi
ReplyDelete